The travel essay I read is called Disney ride leads to real life, midlife flights of fancy written by Sandra Ross. This essay is about a woman, Sandra, who went to Disney Land in California with her family. She went on a ride called Soarin’ Over California. This is a hang gliding simulation ride where you sit in a ski lift like chair, buckle up and then the lights dim and the ride lifts you 50 feet above the floor. Sandra does an amazing job of describing the scenery and experience to readers. She says “the image of blue sky and white puffy clouds came into view on a huge screen and a light breeze tousled my hair. Higher and higher I soared over the Golden Gate Bridge, Yosemite, and a raging river.” In this essay the author also describes the different scenes she sees. For example, she told us she found herself going up and over and snowy mountain, an orange grove, and a golf course. When Sandra is on the snowy mountain she says she felt goose bumps on her arms and when she was by the golf course she ducked to avoid getting hit by a golf ball.

        The author begins her essay by saying she is afraid of heights and not a thrill seeker so she isn’t sure what possessed her to embark on this ride. She says even though she is afraid of heights Soarin’ Over California was an awakening for her, almost a religious experience. A few days after she returned from her California vacation she discovered a parasailing adventure in Hawaii. She decided to do the tandem flight with her husband for their 20th anniversary. Sandra tells us her 45th birthday is approaching and the older she gets the more adventures she seeks. She wonders if maybe she is in a midlife crisis and says her mom keeps asking her when she’s going to grow up. Sandra answers never, life has just begun. 

          The first thing that caught my attention about this essay was the word Disney. Upon seeing this word I figured the essay was going to be about either Disney World or Disney Land. I have never been to either place but I’ve always wanted to go to Disney World, so I knew I would find this essay interesting. The first sentence of the essay also caught my attention because I really like the way the author started it. She said “I’m not a thrill seeker and I’m afraid of heights so I have no idea what possessed me to embark on Soarin’ Over California.” I liked this beginning because like the author I am not very adventerous. However, unlike the author I never would have gone on that ride so I was interested to see what the ride was like and what the author’s reaction was to the ride. I loved all the descriptive words and details the author used in her essay. I was able to imagine all the scenes and places the author described and I almost felt as though I was there. 

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/travel/2001974183_tressay11.html 

Grace Baumback

April 10, 2008

Eng 251: The Personal Essay

Essay #3: Argumentative: Draft 2

            Many couples question whether or not to live together before marriage. Usually people believe living together will bring them closer together. However, I have seen firsthand how that belief backfires on couples. The result being the relationship is damaged and the lives of the people become very complicated and confusing. Living together before marriage can often ruin relationships instead of strengthening them.

            My sister, Vanessa and her boyfriend, Mark had been together for a little over a year and a half. After Vanessa and Mark had been going out for about three months Vanessa decided to move into Mark’s house with him. It was a little sudden but they were constantly together and already seemed very much in love. They thought living together would allow them the opportunity to learn more about each other and grow closer to one another. Like all couples that live together they had their ups and their downs but for the most part it seemed to be going well. Vanessa seemed to be adjusting well to being an “almost wife.” She began going to the grocery store, making dinner, and buying decorations and necessities for the house.

            Vanessa and Mark would have disagreements and Vanessa would go to my mom’s house. She would cry to my mom and tell her all her problems. My mom would listen to and hug Vanessa and make her feel better. They would disagree over silly things, such as, Vanessa getting upset about Mark’s friends coming over with their dogs and Mark not remembering when Vanessa was working or when she had plans. She was constantly telling Mark he needed to listen and pay better attention to her. My mom always assured Vanessa she has a room and could come home anytime she wanted. She didn’t need to depend on Mark because she has her family. In the end Vanessa always went back to Mark’s house and things would be fine, until they weren’t again.

Vanessa and Mark had a huge fight, which resulted in Vanessa moving back home. She called me in tears telling me “I’m going to need you to come over and help me move my stuff out of Mark’s.” I told her “okay, we’ll be right over, it’s going to be okay.” We spent the rest of the day loading Vanessa’s stuff into bags and moving them back home. This was the beginning of the end for Vanessa and Mark’s relationship.

            Between 1960 and 2004 the number of unmarried couples living together in America has increased by over 1200 percent (The problem of cohabitation). There is an 80 percent failure rate among couples that live together before marriage (Bennett, Blan, Bloom). There is an ever-growing collection of research data that sheds a very unfavorable light on cohabitation. Cohabitation heavily contributes to the failure of most marriages before they even begin (The problem of cohabitation). Cohabitation relationships are usually short lived. Half of cohabitating relationships end within a year and within the first two years approximately twenty nine percent of cohabitating couples separate (The problem of cohabitation).

            The statistics about cohabitating relationships ending or the couple separating within the first year to two years is very accurate when it comes to Vanessa and Mark. They had been together for almost two years and then their relationship was over as quickly as it started. People often have different expectations when it comes to living together. One person may expect the household responsibilities will be shared and each person will pull their own weight. However, that is not usually the case, which causes problems and tension between the couple. One person ends up doing the majority of the work and errands and that could eventually result in feelings of resentment toward their partner. Another expectation many people have is living together will eventually lead to marriage. In this case it is usually one person that desires marriage and the other person is not thinking about marriage.

I know Vanessa was really confused and upset when she made the decision to move back home. She had plans for their future and was in love with him and she was hurt when things weren’t working out between them. Breakups have devastating consequences, especially if the couple didn’t end their relationship on good terms. Vanessa and Mark had adopted a dog together. Tessa was Vanessa’s first dog and she was so happy Mark had finally bought a dog for her. Now that they are not together Vanessa misses Tessa terribly. The last time she saw Tessa I was with her. She started crying and said “I wish I could take her, it makes me so sad. I just want my dog. Mark’s probably not even taking care of her.”

People rush into relationships without considering what could happen. Couples don’t think about the consequences when they make decisions. They think the relationship is going well so they decide to get a pet together or in some cases they buy a house or an apartment together. If the relationship falls apart the people are still going through a messy “divorce.” Even though they weren’t married yet there is still the question of who gets custody of the pet? What is going to happen to the house? How are furniture and home decorations going to be divided?

Vanessa called me the night of the breakup to tell what had happened. She said “can you look at the pictures of you and me that are on your computer and send them to me?” My response was “yes of course, why do you want them?” Vanessa said “because I’m going to change my facebook picture to one that doesn’t include Mark because as of tonight we broke up.” I said, “I’m really sorry.”  She said “whatever this is the way it is, he’s still being a jerk and talking about the initial fight and saying he was right, he can’t let it go.”

            For today’s young adults, living together seems like a good way to achieve some of the benefits of marriage and avoid divorce. Cohabitation is a good way for couples to learn more about each other and find out if their partner has what it takes to be married (Popenoe). Another benefit of cohabitation is if things don’t work out, breaking up is easy to do. Young adults favor cohabitation; according to surveys most young people say it is a good idea to live with a person before marriage. Cohabitation allows couples the opportunity to get to know one another’s living habits. Living with someone is one way to see the other person’s lifestyle, and try to determine if you can deal with the other person’s habits (Maldonado). When you are only dating someone you don’t know how they live or what they are really like. When you live with someone everything is exposed, there are no more secrets. You see your partner’s true colors and they see yours. Some people believe cohabitation is a good thing because they have the freedom to leave, since there is no divorce process. They can walk away saying, “at least I didn’t marry them” (Maldonado).

However, evidence suggests that living together is not a good way to prepare for marriage or avoid divorce. The research suggests that living together before marriage increases the risk of breaking up after marriage (Popenoe). Cohabitation is not helpful; instead it is harmful as a try out for marriage. There is no evidence to support if couples decide to cohabitate they will have a stronger marriage than those who don’t live together before marriage. A drawback of cohabitation is spending too much together. One person expects their partner will be spending all of their free time with them but the reality is the partner may want some alone time and that is difficult for the other person to accept. The mistake many people make when living with their partner is constantly desiring attention and taking it personally if their significant other wants to be alone. Many people break the relationship because they feel that they need more personal space. A relationship that would otherwise have worked out is broken from rushing into living together (Maldonado). Expectations of marriage without a true commitment can cause friction and frustration in relationships. After a couple has lived together for some time they want more, however, their partner is content with having the perks of marriage without the solid vows of commitment (Maldonado). Almost being married eventually becomes unsatisfying and couples argue over the need to actually get married. One person’s desire to make things official often becomes the end of the relationship (Maldonado).

Unrealistic expectations and the stress of having all the responsibilities of marriage without the commitment is the cause of many relationships breaking up. Cohabitation is something many couples rush into without taking the time to think about the consequences. Couples need to remember living together is not all fun and games. It is difficult and requires hard work. Many times couples are not willing to work at through hard times and the relationship ends.  Healthy conflict resolution, honesty, communication, compromise, and sacrifice are what make relationships work.

                                                         Works Cited

Bennett, Blan, and Bloom. “Commitment and the Modern Union: Assessing the link

Between Premarital Cohabitation and Subsequent Marital Stability.” American

Sociological Review 53 (1988): 127-138. 

Maldonado, Chesley. “Cohabitating: The Good and the Bad.” 15 May 2005: 8 April

2008. http://www.buzzle.com/articles/cohabiting-good-bad.html.

Popenoe, David and  Barbara Dafoe Whitehead. “Should We Live Together?” 2002: 25

March 2008 http://marriage.rutgers.edu/Publications/SWLT2%20TEXT.htm.

“The Problem of Cohabitation.” Psychology Today. Aug. 2005: 25 March 2008

http://members.aol.com/cohbabiting/index.htm.

The novel, My Sister’s Keeper, by Jodi Picoult is full of insight, inspiration, and heartbreak. Picoult wrote a thoughtful, thought-provoking, and readable novel which is loved by all. This is a novel that reminds readers how easy it is to jump to conclusions and to do all the wrong things for all the right reasons.  My Sister’s Keeper is a fiction novel which discusses one family’s struggle for survival at all human costs.     Readers quickly learn that the main character, Anna was born with a job. Through the process of preimplantation genetic diagnosis, Anna was conceived as a bone marrow match for her older sister Kate. Kate has been plagued with leukemia since childhood and her only hope for living was a bone marrow transplant. Since Anna’s birth she has undergone countless surgeries, transfusions, and shots in an effort to help save her sister’s life. Anna had never challenged her life or her role as Kate’s bone marrow match, until now. Anna began to challenge her parents and role in the family when it was expected she would donate one of her kidneys to Kate. When Anna’s parents refuse to listen to her and accept what she is saying Anna takes drastic measures that tears her family apart. She hires a lawyer to represent her in a medical emancipation suit to allow her to have control over her own body.  Anna makes the decision of suing her parents because she feels it is the only way for her to be heard.  Throughout the lawsuit Anna’s parents are only focused on one thing; giving one of Anna’s kidneys to Kate so she will live. But where does Kate fall into this whole mess? Who is really fighting for Kate’s wishes, Anna or their parents?    As readers, we follow Anna and her family through their difficult struggles. Anna’s parents are fighting not to lose both of their daughters. Kate is in danger of dying without a kidney transplant but they will lose Anna if they force her to donate one of her kidneys. Anna is ultimately forced to choose between living her own life and saving her sister’s life.    I chose to read this book because it was recommended to me by mom.  She had heard what a great book it was through a friend who had read it. After only reading the back of the book I fell in love with the story. I instantly knew it was going to be a great book that told a very interesting story. My Sister’s Keeper evokes many emotions in the reader. They feel sorrow, hope, anger, and sympathy. This book discusses the difficult decisions and choices a family must make when a child is diagnosed with a life threatening illness. My Sister’s Keeper is a real page turner. Once I began reading it I could not put it down. I didn’t want to stop reading because new information kept being introduced and I had the feeling of “I need to know what’s going to happen.”  Picoult wrote about a very controversial issue. Genetic planning and engineering and the prospect of creating babies for health purposes and the ethical and moral fallout that results. Anna struggles with the reasons why she was born. In her own voice she tells readers why she was born and her feelings on the subject. “I was born for a very specific reason. I was born because a scientist managed to hook up my mother’s eggs and my father’s sperm to create a specific combination of precious genetic material. My parents explained they chose that they chose little embryonic me, specifically, because I could save my sister, Kate. It made me wonder though, what would have happened if Kate had been healthy. Chances are I’d still be floating up in Heaven or wherever, waiting to be attached to a body to spend some time on Earth. Certainly I would not be part of this family. See, unlike the rest of the free world, I didn’t get here by accident. And if your parents have you for a reason, then that reason better exist. Because once it’s gone, so are you.” When Picoult was doing research for this book she spoke to children who had cancer, as well as their parents. She did this to better capture what it felt like to live day by day, and maintain a positive attitude in spite of the overwhelming specter of what might be just around the corner. Picoult also drew on her own experience, as a parent with a child who faced a series of surgeries. When Picoult’s son was 5, he was diagnosed with benign tumors that will eventually burrow into his brain and kill him. He had to have 10 surgeries in 3 years and Picoult drew on this experience as inspiration when she was writing. She said “I remember how I walked beside his gurney into the OR and I’d think, okay, just take my ear if that keeps him from going through this again.” Picoult’s desperation and desire to make him healthy again became the heart of Sara’s, the mother, monologues in the book. Picoult’s being able to relate to Sara is the reason she cannot hate her for making the decisions she did.  Jodi Picoult’s books could be compared to Nicholas Sparks’ books. They are both similar in the fact that their books tear at the reader’s heartstrings. These books are filled with emotion and bring out various emotions in readers. The endings of both authors’ books are usually an emotional surprise.  The significance of My Sister’s Keeper is to make readers aware of real life issues that are happening. In this book she discusses genetic engineering and creating a child to save another child. Another one of Picoult’s books discusses a school shooting  and the reprecutions that come from them.  This novel is extremely well written and thought provoking. Picoult keeps readers constantly guessing and wondering what is going to happen next. She throws so many twists and turns and surprises into the novel it never gets boring. Once you begin reading My Sister’s Keeper, you will not be able to put it down. It is a novel I recommend everyone read.      

I just wanted to let everyone know that when I typed my post it was all spaced out. I had pressed the return key several times before starting each section and when I published my post all of the spaces went away and it looked like one big paragraph. I don’t know what happened between me typing my post and publishing it. 

Claim: The affiliate here in Birmingham asked us to be on call to engage in a nonviolent direct action program if such were deemed necessary. We readily consented and when the hour came we lived up to our promise. Instead of readily he could have used eagerly.Instead of necessary he could have used essential.  Agreement: I cannot sit idly by in Atlanta and not be concerned about what happens in Birmingham. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.Instead of idly he could have used absentmindedly.Instead of concerned he could have used disturbed.  Disagreement: I have tried to make clear that it is wrong to use immoral means to attain moral ends. But now I must affirm that it is just as wrong, or perhaps even more so, to use moral means to preserve immoral ends. Instead of affirm he could have used insist.Instead of attain he could have used achieve. Recommendation: We will reach the goal of freedom in Birmingham and all over the nation because the goal of America is freedom. Abused and scorned though we may be our destiny is tied up with America’s destiny. Instead of reach he could have used achieve.Instead of abused he could have used battered.Paragraph: Over 30 percent of college students leave after their first year and almost 50 percent never graduate. When a student ends up at a school they don’t like, they’re ten times more likely to drop out. There are two main reasons people drop out of college. The first is money. They are unable to pay for college and they don’t want to go into debt with student loans. Another reason is too much freedom. Students party too much which results in them not completing their school work and then flunking out. I completely agree with this. I have seen firsthand the devastating effects college freedom has on a person. It causes confusion and indecisiveness in a person’s life. They have a difficult time going back and completing their college education once they drop out.  

My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult discusses tough but necessary issues. Thirteen year old Anna was conceived as a bone marrow match for her sister, Kate, who has been plagued with a rare form of leukemia since the age of two. Anna was genetically engineered to be a perfect match for Kate. SInce birth, Anna has been donating her platelets, blood, and bone marrow to her sister. Anna had never challenged this before. She just accepted that this was something she needed to do to help save her sister’s life. However, Anna did challenge her parents when it was expected Anna would donate one of her kidneys to Kate. Anna tries to refuse the donation but her parents refuse to listen to her. Anna hired a lawyer to represent her in a medical emancipation suit to allow her to have control over her own body. Picoult discusses the difficult decisions and choices a family must make when a child is diagnosed with a serious illness. Picoult wrote about a very controversial issue. Genetic planning, the prospect of creating babies for health purposes and the ethical and moral fallout that results. A question the author leaves us with is it okay to create a child in order to save another child? This is a very well written book and it is a real page turner. Once you pick it up you will not be able to put it down.

My sister told me about her plan to get her nose pierced. My first reaction was very surprised. I said “Vanessa, you can’t do that, mom will kill you!” Vanessa’s response was “No she won’t, it’ll be fine, anyway, I’m 18 so I can get it done if I want.” I never told my mom anything Vanessa told me, I was very good at keeping her secrets, so of course I didn’t tell my mom about Vanessa’s plan to get her nose pierced. A few days after Vanessa’s 18th birthday she called my mom to tell her what she had done. To my surprise my mom didn’t react the way I thought she would. My mom talked to my sister and then said to me “So, I guess you already know Vanessa got her nose pierced.” I smiled and admitted to my mom that Vanessa had already told me. Then my mom smiled and said “you’re so good to her, always keeping her secrets.” Then we both said how we were anxious to see her new piercing.  

Something I’m wondering about is the relationship between siblings. I have a very close relationship with my sister. We have always been close and attatched to each other. We have a very good relationship and we are always there for one another. We are sisters who are 2 1/2 years apart (she is older) so I have always wondered if our age played a part in our relationship. 1. Does gender play a part in sibling relationships? For example: Brother/brother, sister/sister, brother/sister2. Do siblings who are close in age closer to each other than those that are more separated by age?3. If the siblings family is close knit does that affect relationships the children have with each other?     4.Do siblings become closer as they grow up or do they tend to drift apart more as they grow up?

1. I’m hoping for the end yet fearing it at the same time2.  I want her to be happy but not rush into anything3. She needs to get the motivation to finish school just so she can go on to have to complete more school4.  She likes her job yet she’s frustrated with it and wants to leave5. Babies are sweet yet controlling 6.  Independence both thrilling and terrifying  7.  Dogs are fun but frightening 8. Jobs are stressful yet necessary9. Growing up is scary yet exciting10. Different isn’t dangerous, it’s just different11. Walking into the unknown is scary but we’ve all experienced it12. Pain and pleasure, two emotions that can bring out the best and the worst in us13. What we want we can’t always have14. What’s familiar is safe15. Always expect the unexpected in life16. Things have a way of working themselves out17.  Difficult decisions seems like an everyday occurance18. What’s meant to be will be, you can’t create fate19. Good things don’t always happen to good people20. Patience is the key to living your life21. We tend to destroy the good things in our lives22. When the going gets tough everyone needs someone to go to23. We tend to take our anger out on those we love the most24. Noise, calming to some upsetting to others25. Leaving your comfort zone, stressful yet a necessary experience

I undid the buckles on Nora’s pink flowered car seat and helped her climb out of the dark green honda pilot. I took her hand since we were in a busy parking lot and there were cars everywhere. I held her hand and Nora’s mom followed us carrying baby Thomas. We were going to For The Love Of Children and it was the first time I was going there so I was excited because I heard how cute it was. Nora and I walked in and I took off her pink sneakers and pink jacket. I looked around the room in amazement. I saw a red inflated castle, a blue crayon balance beam, a padded train of red, yellow, green and blue, and a huge red and yellow play set. It had two slides and stairs, steps and many different ways to exit other than the slides. All four walls were painted with beautiful murals. One wall had a scene of fall, another had a scene of winter, one was painted with a scene of spring and the other was summer. I loved the idea of the four seasons, it was so creative. The colors were so vibrant, I saw orange and yellow leaves and then lots of green and flowers and white snow falling down the wall. I loved everything about this place but most of all I loved watching Nora run around, play, learn and explore.